i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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