Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
