I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
