we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
