So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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