thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
