Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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