I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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