belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
