btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
