Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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