hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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