Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
