This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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