you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
