so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize