you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
