another moral hangover. fuck.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
