Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
