So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Randomize