There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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