Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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