Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
