Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My boob is missing a layer of skin
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize