carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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