ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
