its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
