Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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