Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
do herpes really smell.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
