I'm really into asian looking animals
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I will be naked everywhere
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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