I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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