I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
