I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
