so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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