Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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