I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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