I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
