We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
