Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
