First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
The power of my boobs compel you
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
