Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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