my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize