Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
