Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize