so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
