Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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