dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
