clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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