Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
