He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize