Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
