Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
