How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
