My friends, they love my intelligence
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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