why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize