i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
