We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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