dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
