Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
