spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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