He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
