There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
