Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
